You're the Gaffer
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Goalkeepers
Thomas Heinrich: Aged 29. German international. Automatic first-team choice. Been at club for five years, missed only 13 games.
Stuart Middler: Aged 18. A rough diamond. Promising but immature.
Ralph Sidebottom: Aged 37. Veteran stopper with half an eye on a coaching role.
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Defenders
Stephen Press (CB): Aged 27. Bought last season from your former club. A close ally. Some other players eye your alliance with suspicion.
Gunther Stickel (CB): Aged 30. Strapping and commanding German centre back with a hot temper.
Jacques Loire (CB): Aged 24. Bought for a bargain £250k from Nantes last season. Disciplinary problems but a real nugget.
David McTay (CB): Aged 32. Scottish international in the Colin Hendry mould. Even has the matching mullet.
Antonio Belluci (LB): Aged 32. Former Italy full-back who's seen better days. Loves to get forward, not so keen on 50-50 tackles.
Jimmy Fugelstad (LB): Aged 21. Signed from Norway minnows Kock last year. Great crosser and lightning quick.
John Edwards (RB): Aged 28. No-frills Welshman who rarely ventures over halfway line.
Ian Jones (RB): Aged 35. Tough-tackling veteran and a born leader.
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Midfielders
Georgi Krystatos (AM): Aged 23. Absolute genius on his day but foul tempered. Top Greek goalscorer at last World Cup.
Gary Johnson (DM): Aged 26. Defensive midfielder. The antithesis of Krystatos. Competent at everything, exceptional at nothing. Loves the club and exemplary discipline.
Jimmy Joo-Joo (AM): Aged 21. Impish Japanese talent. Frail but immense close control with ball at his feet. In and out of the side. Getting itchy.
Stanley Wince (CM): Aged 29. Very vocal on pitch and in dressing room. Solid in the tackle, no-nonsense distribution.
Christian Wessels (CM): Aged 31. Belgian midfielder with an exceptional engine and hunger in the tackle. Passing is also fabulous.
Stafford Carr (RW): Aged 23. The 'whingeing winger'. Lightning quick and skilful. A hit with the ladies. Well balanced character - has a chip on both shoulders.
Huxtable Crisp (RW): Aged 18. Immense skill but questionable application. Needs frequent kicks up the backside - just about worth the effort.
Lee Baxter (LW): Aged 20. Left-footed pocket powerhouse. Local boy whose never-say-die spirit makes him a fans' favourite.
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Forwards
Henri Chevalier: Aged 25. Pacy but inconsistent French striker. Shots hit the top corner or Row Z - doesn't deal in half measures.
Gordon McBride: Aged 28. Barrell-chested Scottish hatchet man. Short on pace but a real goal poacher. Great in the air.
Wilson Ebouwe: Aged 22. Sickly Burkino Faso international. When fit is one of most dangerous men in this league.
Wayne Reid: Aged 27. England international. Terrific ambassador for the game. A colossus with awesome goals per game ratio. A delight to manage.
Darren Courtney: Age: 23. New-signing. Not the most confident of players but possesses great touch and awareness.
